Download the Tips on Planning a Funeral and complete the workbook. Copies may also be picked up in the church office or sanctuary.

The Christian Funeral Service

This service is a gathering of family and friends, who form a community of hope. A funeral or memorial service is a rich opportunity to recall the promises of God through Christ. Because of His suffering, death, and resurrection to new life, each time we gather to worship upon the death of a loved one, we do so in the context of God’s promise. Every funeral includes praising God in Christ who is our hope and our salvation, even as we remember the deceased and give thanks to God for the time shared with that person.

Christians view death as another step in our life as children of God. Yet, Christians also experience death as a time of loss when sorrow, grief, and bereavement are both natural and appropriate. These two truths inform the Christian funeral service and guide the church in its ministry to those who have lost a loved one to death, affirming with both joy and tears the promise and hope of the Good News of Jesus.

A funeral or memorial service should be comforting to those who mourn as well as bear witness to our faith in Jesus Christ. The concern of gathered friends does minister to our grief but, above all else, a funeral is a service of worship to God. There, in God’s presence together, we witness to our faith in the communion of saints, the resurrection of the body, and the life ever-lasting. In doing so, the assurance of God’s love and salvation in Christ become a ministry, especially to the bereaved. Since a funeral is a service of worship, all that takes place should be consistent with this principle.

Planning Faithfully, Choosing Wisely

Am I a member?

One of the most common misunderstandings we encounter at the church is over membership. Membership in the Presbyterian Church (USA) operates differently than other denominations. Every year First Presbyterian church pays the national church $45 per member on our rolls, therefore we regularly adjust our membership rolls to reflect active participation either in attendance or financial contributions. If it’s been a while since you worshiped with us or since you contributed financially to the church, it’s probable that you are no longer a member. This isn’t anything you did wrong; it’s simply financially infeasible to keep people on the rolls indefinitely. Please verify with the office or a pastor to determine if you are a member before meeting with a funeral director.

If I choose cremation, do I need to secure the services of a Funeral Director?

We highly recommend working with a Funeral Director. This professional will ease the strain upon family members by coordinating all the details and thus contributing to your wishes being carried out with dignity and honor. Even if cremation is your desire, a Funeral Director handles many details that are not taken care of by the church, the Pastor, or family members. Attempting to save money by not using a Funeral Director is likely to cause confusion and frustration at a time when you most need guidance and support.

Should I make arrangements with a Funeral Director?

Making the decision to arrange some aspects of your funeral and/or burial is helpful. An appointment with a funeral director in advance of death is a wise step to help you decide what you and your family need from the many services available. If you are a family member caring for a dying loved one, making an initial contact now with a funeral director can be very helpful and will lessen the decisions and demands you’ll face upon death.

When a funeral director is not involved additional planning by the family is needed, including, but not limited to: ushers to handout bulletins and direct people to be seated. Additional items to provide: a guest register, container for cards of sympathy, transferring floral arrangements and memorabilia to the reception.

How soon after death does a funeral or memorial service take place?

We recommend holding a service within a week or two following death. Waiting longer may delay the grief work that follows the death of a loved one and impact your sense of closure. If a funeral or memorial service is to be followed by a burial that same day, the schedule of the cemetery workers dictates when burials are held. Surcharges apply for weekend burials, and burials are not available on holidays.

What fees are associated with a funeral or memorial service at FPC Southampton?

All fees are coordinated with the Funeral Director. If you are not using a funeral director, the cost is $800 and covers the pastor, musician, custodian, and office support. You may pay the church directly prior to or on the day of the service.

Who makes arrangements for the musician(s)?

The pastor assists in helping families coordinate music for all funerals. If you arrange for a vocalist apart from the music director, you must arrange to pay that person directly.

A family friend is a pastor, can they be included in the service?

While your friend will certainly be honored to help, friends of the family, even pastors, need time to grieve losses. By asking them to help with the service, you are denying them an opportunity to show up as a friend and grieve alongside of the family. It is also very hard for a family friend to say, “no” to people they love and who are grieving. Please take all of this into consideration before you request their participation.

May we have a visitation at the church the evening before the service, or must that take place at a funeral home?

The visitation the day before a service generally occurs at the Funeral Home.

Who is responsible for producing the order of worship and bulletin?

After the service has been planned with the Pastor, the church office produces the service program.

Who is responsible for submitting the death notice and obituary to the newspaper?

The Funeral Director can take care of this for you. A full obituary normally appears 2-3 days before the visitation and funeral. There is a cost for this, and the Funeral Director can assist you. Notices to other newspapers can also be handled by the Funeral Director at your request.

Who plans the reception following the funeral or memorial service?

The family is responsible for arranging the catering for a luncheon or reception following the service, including servers. Presbyterian Women or The Board of Deacons, may also be available to help with the serving. A free-will donation to the group would be appropriate. The office has a list of several restaurants in the area that are familiar with catering at FPC. The Dining Hall or Parlor are generally available, please let the pastor know if you would like to use the space.  

Who is responsible for the floral arrangements following the service and/or reception?

The floral arrangements belong to the family. It is the family’s responsibility to remove the flowers from the church. They may choose to take arrangements to their home, to nursing homes, or other places where others may enjoy the beauty. Arrangements may be donated for use in Sunday worship or to enjoy in the office.

What if I desire to have memorials directed to FPC or other organizations?

This is an honorable thing to do. FPC and any other organizations you choose are blessed when memorials are directed to support their ministries and missions. The Funeral Director will be happy to include any memorial designation(s) in the notices about the funeral service. All memorial gifts received directly by FPC will generate an acknowledgment to you and will be shared with the congregation in the weekly bulletin.